he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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