Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
