Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i barfeds in our rink
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
