i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
