I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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