So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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