wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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