I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
too bad you live with your parents still
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize