I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Dignity is for republicans.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
