hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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