My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
