There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I am spending my child support on dildos
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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