UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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