We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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