what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
