if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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