dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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