wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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