can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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