i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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