question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
