Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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