Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We just shotgunned beers for America
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
