Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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