so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
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