The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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