Dual....:-)
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
