we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
She said her name was "party"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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