Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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