he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
