i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
