Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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