what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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