Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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