i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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