Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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