All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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