I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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