PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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