Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
