Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My pussy is not your playground.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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