Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We need to get me chipped asap
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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