I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
