Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
