There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
