Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
