im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
