I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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