we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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