My brain says no but my pants say off.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
