i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
