I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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