i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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