we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize