Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
