So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
