Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
