If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
