your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
