All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
