I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
