I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
