worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize