I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize