apparently the secret to your success is patron
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
