let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
