YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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