I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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