hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
