He is an equal opportunity slut.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
