i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i wish my penis had a tongue
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
